To Kiss A Girl
by Rena Redhead
Summary: Sometimes it's just about guessing what the kiss will be like. Sometimes it's about the experience. Sometimes it's about distancing himself from them. Because an angel... an angel may just be the one thing he'll never find.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own D.. Wish I did because it's an awesome series, but unfortunately, I do not. Oh well…

**Author's Note:** -Looks around- Wow, didn't expect this one. Normally I'm off writing for characters in the DC Comics realm, but I was watching the series and reading a few of the volumes and then this little thing popped into my head. I love it when stuff like this happens. It's just a nice surprise for me, I guess. This isn't specifically for either the anime or the manga, so it could go either way. Anyway, I'll let you read now. I hope you like it - enjoy!

-DNA-

**To Kiss a Girl**

Yeah, I've kissed a lot of girls. Part of the fun can come from wondering what kind of lipstick or toothpaste they used that day. I know that sounds a bit odd, but you start to notice it after a while and then it becomes a bit of a game. Will it be sparkling peppermint today or luscious bubblegum? Is their lipstick thick and creamy or thin and crisp?

You can never tell what it will be, either. Sometimes, I try to guess. They're the cute adorable type. I guess strawberry, I get cherry. They're the headstrong stubborn type. I guess spicy, I get citrus. You can never really tell. There's no set formula, so it's always a different outcome from what I'd expect, but I keep guessing all the same. I know, I know. You think I would have found a formula. But girls are not that simple. Trust me, I'd know.

I've kissed a lot of girls. In every decade of my life, lives. Shamelessly in some ways. Guessing their lipstick or toothpaste, heh! I suppose I do make it a game sometimes, to the distress and disbelief of my many hosts, the Niwas. Well, maybe not disbelief. They've probably gotten used to it after a while, poor Daisuke.

I've kissed girls for many reasons. To flatter them. To escape from them. To excite them. To boost my own ego even. To tell them how… And that's when I know I've gone too far. I back off and hide away after that.

I've been called many things: A thief. A tramp. A legend. A ladies man. An angel…

You call my life the life of an angel's?

Every generation, I'm reborn in a new host. A new entity. I'm in an everlasting cycle. Always, I'm always brought back to be the Great Phantom Thief Dark. But you know who gets left behind? All of those girls - those precious girls.

Yeah, I've made kissing girls a game. I've made it a game to forget that there's someone beautiful right in front of me. I can't get attached. I don't want to get attached. I'm afraid to get attached… How sad.

I've thought about this, done this. If I fall in love for a while, everything will be beautiful. Everything would feel peaceful and serene.

And then they would die.

And I would keep on living.

To say goodbye is something I've had to train myself to do. Whether to the family that I've found in the Niwas or to friends that I've made, I know I have to do it eventually. But there's something different about loving someone, someone like a girl.

Yes, I've fallen in love. Despite my own knowledge about my state of being, I've fallen in love. And I've only hurt myself. I've been hurt - again and again and again…

…

So when I see a girl who likes me, I try to let them down gently. If I can spare them at least the heartache that I've experienced…

I can't help but shake my head. You'd think I would have learned by now, not to kiss girls. But I like to. There's something within me that burns whenever I can touch something resembling love. It's like ecstasy for me. With one little kiss, I can experience a piece of something and not be hurt. I live for it, because of it.

That's what I subconsciously tell myself every time as I try to guess their lipstick for the night.

But there's always that one kiss. From that one girl every so often. And I know I'll be hurt again, that I'll hurt them again, so I leave. I go back home and think about them while my host sleeps. I think, at least I'm the one who did it. At least they didn't. I don't have anyone to blame but myself…

Then it occurs to me. What would it be like, to have a girl kiss me and really mean it? What if they kissed me like that and I… and I felt the same way?

And my heart breaks. Because I know that one day it will happen. And then they'll die and I'll keep on living. I'll want to envy and hate them because they'll be free from heartache and I'll be stuck with it. But I know I couldn't hate them. I could never hate a girl like that.

I shouldn't kiss girls. But I can't help it. Because I know I want to find that kind of love. I want to really feel that sort of love and know what it's like. That unique, precious love that I've never felt before. Is that the role of an angel? To want to love, to feel loved, even if it's to be stolen away from them? Imagine. Something being stolen away from me…

How did that old saying go? "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". The painful thing (the heartbreaking thing) about this though, is I think Tennyson was right… Or rather I want to believe that he's right because if he isn't, my existence could never be called that of an "angel".

But who would really kiss an angel like that? One that could never be with you? One that couldn't hold your hand every night and pass with you into the next life in your sleep? One that you would have to leave behind…? Some angel… A girl that could do that, though, would be a wonderful girl, a real angel, a girl that I wouldn't deserve.

I drift off to sleep, and even though I've thought all of this through, my subconscious seems to deny logic. I'm dancing. Dancing slowly to a piano's soul in the air, a waltz, holding someone. And then…

A girl kisses me.

It's a beautiful feeling.

I wake up, or whatever you can call waking up for me. My host is still asleep. But, whatever. I'm awake. And I know…

I know that I want to fall in love.

To be kissed by a girl and to kiss that girl back…

To really be in love.

-Dark Mousy

-DNA-

**A/N:** So how was it? I seriously can't believe the outcome of this little thing. This was my first D. fanfic. Still can't believe I started out with lipstick and toothpaste for this… Anyway, let me know what you thought of it! Please review! But yeah, I hope you enjoyed the One-Shot. Stay awesome and keep smiling! Later!

~Rena


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